Trying to raise my kids the best I can

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Death

Yesterday in clinical I had a dying patient. He was dying of colon cancer, pretty young- fifty something. He was alone and sad and not ready to face death. I've had other patients like him. When I worked with the hospice nurse I was shocked at the denial some of the dying patients were in.

It's like this. We all die. But I think we all expect it to come suddenly and tragically or when we're really really old and ready to go. So when many of us come down with a common deadly disease in the middle of our perfectly good life we're unprepared. It's devastating.

Today at church, my pastor gave us an assignment to write an obituary for ourselves. I actually, do feel like if I got a death sentence tomorrow I could be at peace with it. (Though I hesitate to blog that, as any good movie would have me die tomorrow and have this post read at my funeral). Two reasons I have peace: number one I've made and loved four absolutely beautiful people. And secondly, my faith is very real to me, so I know where I'm going is a better place. (On the other hand I cringe at the thought of leaving my children on this earth without my protection until they're adults and able to fend for themselves).

I think I'll pass on writing an obit, because it feels kind of egotistical to put that all out there right now "Deena was so great. Bla bla bla." But I think the point of the homework assignment is to evaluate your current life and determine if that's really where you want to be in the long run. For me the answer is yes. I think the only thing I'd change right now is I really should pray and read the Bible more often. Gotta keep working on that.

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