Trying to raise my kids the best I can

Monday, March 03, 2008

Getting anxious about the impending birth UPDATE AT BOTTOM

I know you can't plan your birth to a T. I know you can't count on anything. It's in the baby's and God's hands. But as it gets closer I'm getting more and more anxious that it go perfectly. I had my blood tested today for iron levels. If it's not high enough (30) than I have to have a hospital birth. I'm going to freak out; I mean seriously freak out if I can't have my water birth. Seriously, I'm tearing up writing this.

On top of that, I was reading my pregnancy books this morning- and then talking to a mom at the birth center who just had her first baby 6 weeks ago. Usually that just makes me happy/excited/inspired to go into labor. But today it just makes me upset/anxious/impatient. I want to have this baby NOW. NOW. NOW.

I asked my midwife today if I could bring candles and she said just electric. It's such a stupid little thing but even that upsets me. I want real candles. It's so stupid. And then the subject of induction came up (theoretical, not for me, specifically) and I could have sworn she said "we've had great success with Cytotec". Did I hear that right? I mean, Cytotec is a very very dangerous drug that should never be used to induce labor. I wouldn't let anyone near me with that stuff. Why would she say that? Why would they use that? That makes me confused and less confident in them.

So that was my dumb day. :(

It's the next day. I got my lab results back. In the words of my midwife... I just barely made it. 30.6 I'm shocked. Shocked. I can't believe it. I'm good to go for the birthing center. I was SO depressed last night. I don't even know what to say or do. Praise God.



  • At 1:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Take a deep breath! *LOL* Hang in there your sweet baby is almost here!



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