Trying to raise my kids the best I can

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I hate being poor. Where to birth?

I'm so confused... I need to vent/think aloud.
I'm all ready to transfer my pregnancy care to a Birthing Cottage. But I got the official bill of $2150 (I'm third trimester already) which I was kind of in denial about until now. We could technically pull it off financially, with our tax refund. But we need another vehicle (preferably one that would fit all of us). And we are SO paycheck to paycheck. Like, literally we have no food every other week until my husband gets paid. So I just don't know if I can justify the expense.

...I wouldn't mind an unassisted home birth BUT

* we live with my in-laws and my sister in law doesn't want me too.
* I've got my heart set on a water birth and I don't know if we could fit a tub in the basement where we live or fill it because we only have a bathroom sink
* I'm not sure if I want to birth here- it's kind of icky

Then there's the hospital... It's free. And I had a reasonably good experience there before. BUT...

* The birth tub may or may not be available
* If my water has broken they "won't let me in the tub"
* I'll have to fight them/barricade the door or whatever if I want to deliver in the water (NOT what I want to do in transition)
* I can't film the baby coming out and I really wanted to record this delivery
* I want to catch the baby- not sure if they'll "let me"
* Asserting myself for all the various interventions that I may or may not want

I'm going to maybe ask my parents about birthing at their house. Not sure if they'd let me. It would be weird/awkward. But at least it's a better option than the above.

And... I'm sorry, I'm just a big hormonal mess right now... (cry) but everything is stressing me out... I was worrying tonight that my husband and I and the baby and our three year old might not fit in our King size bed and there's no where else to put the three year old. I'm so overwhelmed right now.



  • At 9:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Because you are in RN school, would the Birthing Cottage let you work off part of the bill?


  • At 3:04 PM, Blogger Deena said…

    Hmmm. I hadn't really thought about bartering. I doubt it would work with me because it's really far to go up frequently to "work off". But my husband is really handy. If he could fix or build something for them.... I'll email them right now.
    Some of my other online friends are advocating a hotel birth. I'm interested but I don't think I can sell the idea to Timmy. We'll see.

  • At 3:58 PM, Blogger Amy Rogers said…

    I'm so sorry that you are going through this. The sad thing is that it will probably cost insurance more for you to be in a hospital, than it would be for them to pay for a birthing center. I hope you are able to find a solution that can work out for you.

    As to the bed issue. I have heard of people who put a twin mattress up even with the king size bed, to make a giant bed for everyone! Maybe that could work for you?

  • At 5:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I wouldn't advocate a hotel birth. If something happens and there is a huge mess or stains you could be charged alot of money to replace said-items. What about a Doula to go to the hospital with you or a LLL friend who would let you homebirth at her home?

  • At 10:03 PM, Anonymous Rachel said…

    You'll all fit in the bed, guaranteed! I agree that a twin bed pushed up against might give you a little extra room, too. ((((DEENA)))) It sucks that you are having to deal with all of this. I think I would take my chances with the hospital (unless your parents let you use their house) and maybe look into hiring a doula or someone who can be your advocate, to make sure you get the experience you really want there.


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