Trying to raise my kids the best I can

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Hillarious Christian remake

This video is the bomb. I'm going to ask Pastor Charlie if I can play it at church. Anyway, today in church I learned about the verse "the gates of hell shall not prevail against you". That verse used to make me think that Satan's attacks against me won't be victorious, but Pastor Charlie pointed out that gates are DEFENSIVE, not OFFENSIVE. So that verse is really about us breaking down satanic strongholds around us. And Satin will not prevail against our attacks. Obvious, in retrospect, isn't it? So he urged us to go from church and raze hell. Get it? Raze hell. He cracks me up.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

My lil guy, jamn

My precious little guy - he asked me for the Jonas Brothers CD - and his brothers don't even like the Jonas Brothers. So my husband downloaded their songs for him. Then he got out his play guitar and went at it. We've done nothing to influence him in this direction, which makes his passion all the more adorable. This video was after a half hour of hard rocking, so you can see he's kind of tired, but still going at it. Maybe he'll be my little rock star.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Bad Deena

It's a guilty pleasure I know, but I love love love a man's body. When I was young I said that I would marry a hot guy and I did. I'm totally satisfied with him. But I couldn't help but enjoy this when I stumbled upon it on youtube. I really did stumble upon it. It flipped up as one of the "currently playing" videos and I was like "oooh, what's that?" and the rest is history. My Dad used to say that I'm the only female he's ever met who is visually stimulated - just like a guy. tee hee. So for anyone else with a weakness for a hot guy...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

This is so cute. So Funny.

My baby bumps


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Christians are...

My pastor's sermon today was the shit. (I bet I'm the first person in the world to ever say that. tee hee). He spoke to the issue that is nearest and dearest to my heart right now. I'm very passionate about this issue. He addressed the issue of the perception of Christians (and our responsibilities regarding it). What does my generation associate with Christianity ?

91% say: Anti homosexual
87% say: Judgmental
85% say: Hypocritical

Other descriptive words that come to mind: old fashioned, too involved in politics, out of touch with reality, insensitive to others, boring, not accepting of other faiths. ~UnChristian

Isn't it sad when that is what people think of Christians instead of the love of Christ? How much time do we spend discussing with our friends and coworkers our opinion of the war in Iraq or immigration or homosexuality vs. the amount of time we've spent telling them what Jesus means to us? I can attest to the perception of my generation and it both saddens me and sickens me. I was beside myself with joy that my pastor exhorted us to remain focused on Jesus while unbending in our beliefs. Nothing frustrates me more than a judgmental Christian who spouts hatred and division.

"Christians are primarily perceived for what they stand against. We have become famous for what we oppose rather than who we are for." ~UnChristian

My church is a tiny little Baptist church -composed of a lot of old people. We're pretty quiet and, some might say boring, but days like today I KNOW God lead me to the right place. These people love God, my Pastor is grounded in the faith, and the fellowship time over food after the service means a lot to me, because it is a chance to actually get to know each other instead of just staring at the back of each other's heads. I love my church.

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Friday, September 21, 2007

I love the smell of skunk

They say that the sense of smell has the strongest ability to bring back memories. That's why I love the smell of skunk. It brings me back to my husband's apartment back in the summer of 1996. We were young lovers. So happy and carefree. We barbequed steak every afternoon and went to parties all the time, drove around in his hot cars, ate a local restaurants, danced at local clubs. But no matter what we did we were happy just to be together. And one evening while hanging out in his room we smelled an overwhelming skunk smell. It was the worst skunk smell I'd ever smelled in my life. But ever since then, it reminds me of that special time together. The summer we made Brandon (tee hee).

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

"And that was how she died"

I have an anxiety disorder that's completely under control with medication. It's hereditory - from my mom and her mom-who knows how far back. Before getting on medication I tried for a long time to just deal with it by talking myself through anxiety ridden situations. Now, you would think, that you could just rationalize yourself out of an anxiety attack. For instance, I might be afraid of the elevator I was in breaking its cable and dropping. So rationally I could tell myself that the odds of that are very slim and that according to the certificate on the wall it was recently inspected. But that's the odd thing about anxiety disorders; a part of you completely understands rational thinking and the part of you that is controlled by it is convinced that it is going to happen. So I discovered that the only method that worked in dealing with anxiety is to give in to the assumed worst case scenerio, which leads me to the phrase I made up. It goes "And that is how she died", meaning me. "So my plane crashed with me in it. Big deal. I'll be in heaven and it is almost over." Even though my anxiety is under control, I still get normal-range bouts of it and I still use the phrase. It works like a charm. Today when I was merging on the highway a Mac truck roared past my window. For a second I thought I was a goner. But instead of panicking I just said to myself... "And that was how she died... crushed by a Mac truck on Rt 128." It kind of makes light of the situation and for me it works.

I popped

Today at clinical I was wearing my scrubs and a lab coat. If anything could hide a pregnancy it's that get up. But the first thing the nurses aide said when she saw me was: "Are you pregnant?" So I guess I've popped. Happy happy Joy joy.


I love being a girl

At different times in my life - from when I was a little girl - all the way up to an adult- I have, at times, wished I was a boy. It was always for one reason only- if I was ever excluded from a sports game. I'm good at it and there is nothing sweeter than the adrenaline rush of a touchdown or the swish of nothing but net. In fact, the sweetest compliment I ever received in my life was the time a teenage boy in church was talking about me and said "Deena? She plays football like a man". So being excluded from a boys game always hurt real bad and made me cry (like a girl ha ha). But now that I'm a woman and since the first time I got to experience pregnancy and motherhood I've found it to be more fulfilling and joyful than any game could ever be. So now I'm glad I'm a girl. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Pregnancy update

The worst part about being pregnant -even worse than throwing up all the time - is worrying about your baby. I've had blood tinged mucus the past day or so and I can't help but worry my brains out. I've got an appointment today to check in on it. More than likely they'll never figure out the cause and send me home. But there's always that chance that I'm losing my baby. I'd be devastated.

UPDATE: I saw the doctor and he listened to the heart with the dopler and it was loud and strong. What a beautiful sound. The doctor wasn't worried. He just told me to take it easy. What a huge relief.


The sweetest victory

This past week's football news centered on the scandal of the Patriots videotaping the defensive signals at last week's Jets game. It was really painful for us Patriot fans to watch because our beloved Patriots' name was really dragged through the mud. People jumped on the opportunity to vilify our team and many even claimed that we are winning because of our cheating and not because of our skill. Whether it was the Patriots or someone else, I frankly don't see what the big deal is. Couldn't anyone with a photographic memory or a high tech small camera be getting these signals? I'm sure many teams are doing it. If they are such secrets then shouldn't defensive coaches use a more high tech approach, like blue-tooth technology to communicate with the team? But the Patriots were made into an example - we lost a first round draft pick and the coach was fined a huge sum.

So Sunday night we played the Chargers- a team who talked trash about us all week. We had a lot of pent up anger about it and we were anxious to put on another display of a talent led victory (not cheating). And in the end that's exactly what happened. We completely dominated. I was ecstatic.


Friday, September 14, 2007

For my older readers

As a favor to my older readers, I provide you with the service of "keeping up with the young folk". So if you're interested- this is what all the young folk are watching and talking about. Of course, if you're old it might be a little too scary for you. There is a swear at the beginning. It's a youtube video called "Leave Brittany Alone".

and here's the latest dance craze:

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Do you think they took enough blood?


My baby's heartbeat


First baby appointment

The ultrasound was heaven on earth- seeing my baby. He danced and danced. All my other babies jumped, but he was a dancer. (Don't officially know the sex yet though). After three babies you'd think it would get old. But it doesn't. It's the most wonderful thing in the world.

So much happened today! It started when I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that I'm getting my abs back. Can you believe how skinny I've gotten?! And I'm three months pregnant!!! Morning sickness is such a fabulous diet. Last night (I swear) I had this conversation with my growling stomach:
"what's that?
You say you're hungry?
Why is that?
Could it be because you threw up the perfectly good meal I gave you?
Well maybe next time you'll think about this before you throw up."

That'll teach it.

Then today I had my first doctor's appointment!! My husband cracked me up at the appointment when he walked out of the exam room - in front of the nurse!- and took a domestic violence brochure off the wall and put it in his pocket. Yeah, I beat my husband. He's such a clown.

Yeah, I give him regular beat downs. He fears me.

As my closest friends know I'm medically extremely knowledgeable (call me House) and I'm also stubborn/headstrong. Which means I sometimes butt heads with my doctor, but mostly I just trick them to avoid disagreement. For instance, the big one with pregnancy is that I am borderline gestational diabetic. But the gestational diabetes test is HORRIBLE (if you've had the first, but not the second, you've only gotten a small taste of it). So I prefer not to take it - especially since I already treat myself as a diabetic with diet and exercise and glucose checks. So when the doctor INSISTED I take the test last pregnancy I poured the sugary drink into my bag and passed with flying colors. ha ha. So anyway, the midwife today was looking at my records and was like "wow, 10/4, that was a huge baby you delivered. Were you diabetic?" And I'm like "noooooooo" and she's like "do you gain a lot of weight with the pregnancy? and I said "yes, a ton". So she inquires further, "do you eat a lot of sweets?" and now I feel a little trapped because if I say yes, I'll look stupid and if I say no she'll start to catch on that I am diabetic. So I hesitate big time... "ummmmmm. no" But I think she interpreted my hesitation as a guilty plea to eating junk food. So she proceeds to lecture me on healthy eating and I just smile and nod.

A few days ago I felt that my cervix was softening. It shouldn't do that for another couple months. So naturally I worried that it is turning into an incompetent cervix and I ALMOST went to the ER, but I kept monitoring it and it wasn't progressing so I figured I'd just wait til the appointment. I told her about the cervix. I don't think she thought much of it, but when she checked she agreed that it is shorter and put me in for an immediate ultrasound (lucky for me. They weren't going to do it otherwise and I was so looking forward to it). From what I could see on the ultrasound it looked OK to me but I'll find out for sure after the radiologist looks at it. Worst case scenario I get a stitch to hold it. But I think it's just my body preparing for labor (early).


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I'm leaning towards an unassisted home birth

My husband thinks I'm crazy- he's unconvinced as of yet, but I've got plenty of time to convince him. My mother in law, who lives with us, is supportive and has a lot of experience to draw on. I wouldn't be terribly upset to end up at the hospital, but the balance is just starting to weigh towards home.

These are the reasons I want a home birth:

  • I've come to see birth as beautiful and sensual and a special moment I can share with my family at home.
  • I have come to see women's bodies as perfectly capable of delivering a baby and I'm particularly confident in my ability to birth a baby.
  • An increased sense of accomplishment/confidence in my ability to birth.

My husband is nervous because he said "I won't be in control". He is generally in control in all situations so I can see how that would scare him. But what a home birth really boils down to is control! For instance :
  • The hospital has policies on how many people can be there. 2-3 only.
  • They won't let me in the jacuzzi if my water has broken.
  • No pictures of the baby coming out allowed.
  • Higher chances of pitocin and C-section.
  • They won't let me eat or drink during labor!!! mad "Just in case" there is an emergency C-section. roll eyes
  • I want to push when I want and in whatever position I want. Even if they accommodate me, it would still probably mean explaining and/or defending myself while in transition. crazy2
  • In the hospital, they control who holds my baby and when. At home I control who holds my baby and when.
  • I'm not a big fan of all the somewhat unnecessary poking of my baby - particularly all the glucose checks they do because my babies are large - totally unnecessary in my opinion because the treatment for mild hypoglycemia is breastfeeding- which duh, I'll already be doing.

But of course, there are the pros to hospital birth:
  • If God-forbid something went wrong, the OR is RIGHT THERE. But in my defense, I live down the street from a hospital.
  • Their jacuzzi is really nice. (If I get a room with it and my water hasn't broken)
  • No clean up.
  • They wait on you hand and foot for two days. rock on

And the one deal breaker for me and home birth is being strep B positive. My friend's baby died of that this summer. (tears)


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

At the gym/my baby update

What a wonderful week! Back to church on Sunday and back to the gym today! (For the first time since getting pregnant!) Since I've lost 15 pounds I was sure that I lost a ton of muscle, but I was thrilled to find that I could still lift similar weights as before. The only noticable decline was my inner thighs which started buckling under 65 pound squats. No biggie, I can fix that in two to three workouts. I know my cardio endurance is way down, but I was more worried about how much muscle was left after three months of not eating anything.

As for the baby, I've been feeling him kick every once in a while for the past week! That's four weeks before you should be able to feel it! I guess I've got one strong little bugger in there. And as much as I would love for it to be twins - and that would be a sign of it - I don't think it is, because my fundus height is totally normal for its age. Thursday is my first appointment so we'll know for sure then. I can't wait to see my baby on the ultrasound. Timmy will, of course, be there for the big moment too.


Sunday, September 09, 2007

Boo yuh, naysayers!!!

Our first game of the season and the Patriots demolished the Jets. This past week I heard a few TV commentators predicting a Jets win. So to all those doubters: What now, fool? What now? Randy Moss made a fabulous 51 yard catch/touchdown (with triple coverage!!!). And Ellis Hobb set an NFL record for his 108 yard punt return. Any other teams want a piece of this? Bring it!

God is good

I went to church today! I haven't been to church since the springtime!!! - for so many reasons- First, when the kids and I aren't in school are schedule naturally shifts to our internal clock which is basically going to bed around 1:00 AM and waking up around 11:00AM. Then I went to China for two weeks. And then when I got back I got really bad morning sickness. But I'm finally back and it was so good to see everyone and it will be really good for me to focus more on God. I feel like I've strayed.

During the prayer and praise time I gave a testimony to God's perfect timing. I shared the happy news that we're expecting a baby. Then I said how we had tried to get pregnant for a year but it wasn't God's perfect timing and looking back, if I had gotten pregnant when I wanted to I wouldn't have been able to start nursing school or go to China. And if I had gotten pregnant any later I would have been too sick to start school this fall. The morning sickness started easing up on the first day of school!!! Praise God!

Which reminds me of an even more miraculous pregnancy... Wolfie. When we were newlyweds we lived in a 3rd floor apartment. Before we had moved in- the second floor tenants had switched doors with us because ours was nicer. So now our door said "2", while their door said "3". Not that it mattered, no one ever came in unless we walked them up anyway. But when the police came to arrest my husband they got confused and banged on "Door 3" which was really the 2nd floor. They were so loud and obnoxious I almost yelled "Can you keep it down, we're trying to sleep up here". But the neighbors weren't home and they left. That morning we made Wolfie. The next day the police came back for my husband and took him away from me for four years. If we hadn't gotten those last precious hours together, there would be no Wolfie. And there would be a 7(!) year gap between the kids!! At the time I was scared out of my mind to be a pregnant single mom, but God saw that it was the right time to make Wolfie. And in hindsight, I agree.


Saturday, September 08, 2007

(Some swears) HILLARIOUS SNL video

Thursday, September 06, 2007

10 years ago today

10 years ago today I walked down the isle... I was 18, he was 20. But when Pastor Emmet pronounced us man and wife and we turned around and stood there side by side we really felt like a team. As we walked down the isle together we whispered little things to each other-don't remember what now- but I'll never forget the feeling that we were partners - that no one else understood each other like we do. And through the years it's proven to be true. We both stare at our kids in total awe and adoration. Marrying so young we got to grow up together- so we learned to love the same things- like ultimate fighting and bunnies (not together though ha ha). We've lived through so much together: good times, hospital stays, tragedy, forced separation, poverty, good food, car accidents, the list is never ending. And the history we share goes beyond words. We are soul mates on a level I don't think we can conceive. Though God shared a glimpse of it with me years ago when I remembered a recurring nightmare I had when I was five of an Asian man escaping war. At that very time, my husband and his family were running for their lives through the jungles of Cambodia, escaping the Khmer Rouge.

Monday, September 03, 2007

The 5 things Cambodians Love

There are five things Cambodians love:
  1. family
  2. food
  3. children
  4. alcohol
  5. gambling
Children and family might seem redundant but they really have a profound love and respect for the next generation. America and other industrialized nations could really learn a lesson from them.

So this Saturday was a celebration of all things Cambodian. The whole family spent the day at my aunt's house -in a more rural area. Timmy and his brother coached teams of children in a football game (yeah, I made the first touchdown). Everyone (including my husband and I) took turns riding bikes around the neighborhood. Of course there was good food and as the sun went down we turned in to hang out in the living room and talk. The men drank. Everyone was relaxed. And then the topic of my new baby came up. It's so neat that even though this is my in-laws 12th grandchild, they are as excited about this one as they were about the first (who, by the way, is older than their last child). Various folk tests were performed to determine the sex of this baby. Then the betting began. Even though most of us feel that this is a boy, wagers were made. My husband bet 8 bottles of Hennessey that it is a girl. My uncle countered that with five bottles of Hennessey that it is a boy. My brother in law and uncle bet two bottles of Hennessey and my father in law and uncle bet $500. Which was sealed with not only a handshake but also a pinky swear.

They're so funny. Regardless of who wins the bet there is sure to be a big party when the baby comes and they pay-up begins. Oh and my Uncle asked me what I want (as a gift) if he wins all the bets. I told him I want a Yankee Candle.

The best catch I've ever seen in football

I know I'm inundating you with sport's clips, it's just that I've been sick in bed watching college football all day and this is one catch you have got to see!!!!

Red Sox Rookie Clay Buchholz Pitches No Hitter

I was so proud, watching this kid pitch a no hitter. This is only his SECOND major league game. He's so young and adorable and composed. Check out all the excitement.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

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