Trying to raise my kids the best I can

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Last week was the first week at our new clinical site (a hospital) with our new professor. I've been assigned to the really "tough" professor, but was pleasantly surprised to find that I LOVE her high expectations. She's the stereotypical Doctor who snaps medical questions at sheepish interns. But I thrive on that kind of challenge. And she's the first professor who really seems to know her stuff.

... But alas, today she taught my class (medical asepsis) and even she taught a mistruth. She said that a nicked bladder would be a risk for infection because of the bacteria in the urine... But urine is relatively sterile.

So I guess there isn't a single professor here who really knows her stuff. It's so annoying.

UPDATE: OK I just got back from the hospital where I was going over my patient's chart and I found that half the pages of her chart stated she had a broken fibula and the other half stated a broken tibia. And these pages were written by doctors after x-rays were taken. So I guess incompetence does not end with my professors. I guess I'll be dealing with it the rest of my career and I just need to learn to deal with it before I get chronic hypertension.

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Friday, March 23, 2007

I've decided...

The feminists of the 60's and 70's proclaimed that women could have it all. I'm thankful for the opportunities I now have as a woman, but the woman of my generation have learned from the mistakes of those women. My mother used to say "You can have it all, but not at the same time". I agree with her, but the cold hard truth is... we can't have it all. I've really struggled with this balance of decisions because my biggest aspiration in life was to have six kids and homeschool them and pour my life into molding them into decent human beings. But two years ago I knew I had to go back to school and work because of the insecurity I felt from my husband. Since then, he has proved himself to be a wonderful father to his kids and he's starting to learn to do what I did around the house. So I'm getting more comfortable with getting an education and making a career, knowing that my kids have the warmth of a father to turn to, if not me.

My biggest passion and curiosity has always been medicine/the body. And truth be told, I've always thought my dream job would be epidemiology (or Surgeon General), but I've never allowed myself to even consider being a Doctor because I know in my heart I cannot pursue that dream and my motherhood dreams in the same lifetime. And if I had to choose I would have chosen the six children.

However, I'm hitting a turning point. It started last week with the post about my frustration in nursing school. I've been thinking about what it would take to really pursue my dream of being a Doctor and I've decided to just go for it. Sadly that will mean I can't homeschool six kids... but I will come as close as I can to fulfilling the mommy goals too.

I have to tell you, once I "decided" I was going for my MD, and told my husband, it was the most freeing thing. I laugh more easily now. I openly praise God for the weather. I feel lighter. Something opened up inside me when I allowed the real me to come out.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

World Water Day

World Water Day 2007
In 1992, the United Nations General Assembly designated March 22 of each year to be World Water Day. The goal of this day is to promote awareness of the 1.1 billion people without access to clean, safe water.
Living Water International would like you to honor World Water Day by participating in a one day H2O project. Make water your only beverage (all day), then donate the monies you would have spent that day on soda, coffee, or juice to Living Water International to provide clean water around the world.

Check out my favorite ministry: Living Water International

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Adding two links

I just wanted to draw attention to two links I am adding to the sidebar. The first is Paperback Swap which is a great web site which enables you to trade your books with other readers across the country. It is SOOOO simple. You just punch in the ISBN number of the books you're listing. Then when someone requests one you just print out the "envelope" which is two peices of paper with address and shipping amount already printed on it. Tape it on, slap on the appropriate number of stamps and viola! SO EASY. When the person receives the book you get credit for another book! I keep my stack of books next to the computer so when someone requests it, it can be out the door in five minutes flat (and off my to do list). Oh and if you sign up, put my name as a referral and I'll get another credit. :-)

The second link is a self publishing site. It makes book publishing a snap. I am so excited about it and will be publishing a weight-loss book that I wrote when I was a personal trainer. Keep your eyes out for it! You can also self publish so much other cool stuff! Like family photo albums and for all you artists and photographers out there you can sell your work!!!!!!!

Monday, March 19, 2007

School Rant

I am intensely frustrated at school. I've been waiting two years to get into the nursing program. I just couldn't wait to start the real nursing classes and really learn some useful things. I am so disappointed that I am learning very little new information. I guess any Joe-shmo can be a successful nurse. I won't be happy until I'm at a more advanced level: nurse practitioner, nurse anesthesiologist or MD. There is a book of "nursing diagnoses" that we are allowed to make our diagnoses from. And the list is really quite insulting. I understand the purpose - which is to limit our practice - after all, we are not doctors. But we are only allowed to diagnose things in which a patient could basically tell us for themselves. For example:
Patient: "I am cold"
Nursing diagnosis: "Imbalanced body temparature"

Is that not hillarious and insulting?!

Not to mention that I disagree with the professors much of the time. At first I articulated my disagreement in class. But now that I see this is going to be an ongoing problem, I've lost the drive to debate professors every day. I now resort to eye rolling and squirming in my seat out of sheer frustration.

For instance, today in nutrition the Professor handed out a dozen fat products and had the students line up in order of amount of saturated fat. The students were supposed to get a visual lesson on which products were better than others. But I TOTALLY disagreed with her product order. Her number two "worst" product was Smart Balance. But way down the line was "I can't believe it's not butter". "I can't believe it's not butter" has Trans Fatty Acid, whereas Smart Balance does not. That totally supercedes the difference in Saturated Fat!!!

Extra Virgin Olive oil was "third worst" whereas all sorts of canola and soy and vegetable oils were displayed as better. This, is totally absurd because a person does want to limit saturated fats, but more importantly, one wants to increase monounsaturated fats. And no one does that better than olive oil!

Then in the protein lecture the professor said, and I quote, "Incomplete proteins must be combined to create all the essential proteins. Vegetarian clients must be taught to combine foods properly". GAG ME. That is so early 90's. Nutritionists now know that the body can still combine incomplete proteins that are consumed at different times. There is no need to stress about eating the right combinations, so long as the person is eating a variety of healthy foods.

So you can see why I am so frustrated. Some lectures are better than others. But days like today I just want to shoot myself. All of these inaccuracies are being taught to future nurses!!!! sigh. I can't wait til this is over. One year and 9 months to go. I'm totally counting down.

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Saturday, March 17, 2007

The latest and greatest in makeup

I love scouring the drug store shelves for the newest and best makeup products. I wanted to share my latest find with you. Revlon Sugar Sugar is this powder that you apply over your lipstick/lipgloss for a nice shimmer. It's perfect for spring. Revlon makes some lipgloss to go with it, that I haven't tried yet. But I use it over Loreal's Grape Soda lipgloss and I love the look. Obviously it doesn't hold as long as the lipstick I normally use, but I'm loving the look so I'll be wearing this mostly this spring. My fav. lipstick is much darker/wintery.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

My thoughts on homosexuality

I love this song. It sums up my thoughts on homosexuality.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I'm such a nut

Tuesday morning labs are bright and early... but I am not a bright and early morning person. So often times I will lay down in bed with the practice dummys during break for a little shut eye. Yesterday I actually fell asleep and didn't wake up for 45 minutes!!!! When I popped my head out of the covers the professor almost screamed. She had no idea I was there. (She thought I was a practice dummy). Ha ha. But I don't really regret it. I needed the sleep. And they were just doing an intake and output worksheet. I finished the worksheet with time to spare.

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I gave mouth to mouth last night

Don't worry, no one was dying.

What happened is that my 2 1/2 year old has large tonsils that are obstructing his airway. He's getting them out in a few weeks. The problem started over a year ago but it seems to be getting worse and worse. At night he really struggles for each breath and often doesn't breath at all (apnea). It's very scary to watch, as a parent. I try repositioning his head, forcing his mouth open, shaking him whenever he stops breathing. Nothing seems to work. Last night was really bad. And as I watch him suck in and not get any air I wished that I had one of those machines that obese people use to breathe when they suffer from apnea. It forces positive pressure into their throat, opening up their airway. And I thought to myself... maybe I can be the positive pressure.

So I put my mouth over his nostrils and the next time he tried to inhale I breathed. It made this terrible vibration - the sound of the air forcing itself around his tonsils. But he didn't wake up, didn't even stir. So I did it again and again. And after a few times the tonsils stopped vibrating as if they were positioned a little better- a pathway was created. We had a good pattern going. His breathing was steady now. I was able to kind of take his lead as to when he was inhaling. We did it for an hour. It was so comforting to know that I could actually do something to help him. (And by the way, it felt just like it does when you practice on a dummy in CPR certification).

But eventually I had to go to bed myself, so I lay next to him and fell asleep and he went back to struggling for each breath. I can't wait til this is over and he gets his tonsils out.

Monday, March 05, 2007

I witnessed something sad at Chuck E Cheese

I went to Chuck E Cheese with my kids on Sunday night. I probably shouldn't have because there were so many people there. It was very crowded and loud and bright and... yuck... I hate it when it's like that. Weekdays are much better.

Anyway, I saw the saddest thing. A mother with a BRAND NEW baby. And her husband and their two year old. That is the LAST place I would want to be if I had recently delivered a baby. The father is about 25 years old, but apparently he is a little boy inside because he played Skeeball for hours. She was begging him to leave. He started to make a big scene -raising his voice at her. She's explaining that the two year old wants to leave, SHE wants to leave. Her begging does nothing. He continues to play for another hour. He's got rolls of tickets coming out onto the floor. I overhear her saying they'd been their for seven hours. Whether that was an exaggeration or not, it's still sad. When I left they were still there. It broke my heart. I've never seen a more selfish man. He has a family to be proud of and the only joy he takes in life is rolling a ball into a hole?? It was very upsetting.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

DJing: It's like riding a bike

Tonight I DJed my first Bat Mitzvah after a three year hiatus. In fact, I never thought I would go back to it, but my old boss made me an offer I couldn't refuse...

It turns out that DJing is like riding a bike - no matter how long it's been it all comes right back to you. It was actually kind of fun. There's a certain thrill that comes with hitting play with the volume positioned just right, maybe the song cued to just the right place, and the sound of the bass as the song starts with power. Ahh yes. It was good to be back.

Don't get me wrong. It's not all fun and games. I still have to deal with a type A personality boss who freaks out sometimes. And I forgot about the way your legs ache after standing for five hours straight. There's the equipment setup and take down...

but I'm glad to be back.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Symbolic dream

When I wake up from a crazy dream I like to take a minute to interpret. Not in a prophetic kind of way but in a psychological kind of way. Dreams are your soul's way of hashing out what is going on in your life.

So last night I dreamed that I was running away from it all. I couldn't take my life any more so I bought a plane ticket and I was leaving. I got a letter from my husband. I thought it would be divorce papers but instead he was actually pretty supportive. He sent me car insurance paperwork and other important things I had left behind. So I'm walking to the airline. I keep walking and walking. I can't find it. Finally I reach the Ocean. A storm is brewing. I turn around, hoping to escape but it's too late. I get caught up in the massive waves, tossing me up in the air and deep in the sea...

I could not have had a more symbolic dream for my life. I'm overwhelmed with the craziness. The sheer amount of stuff I'm trying to do. I know it's just a short period in my life - a lifestyle I only need to maintain for a little longer... but still... I wish I could run away and I do feel like I'm being tossed by the ocean.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Another dumb cop

I ran out of gas on the highway last night. I know, I know... but in my defense the gas reader is broken. Anyway, I didn't have the cell phone with me. I left it with the kids because we don't have a land line. So I start walking to the gas station a mile back. And when I'm almost there a cop pulls over and informs me that walking along the highway is very dangerous (insert your sarcastic comment here). He asks what I'm doing. I tell him I ran out of gas and he still acts perturbed that I am walking along the highway. So, FINALLY, he gets the brilliant idea that he could let me use his cell phone. He calls my husband for me and has him meet me at the gas station (my husband couldn't come, he sent my brother). Then the cop dropped me off. But what would have been REALLY helpful is if the cop had just brought me to the gas station and then back to my car. Oh well.
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