Trying to raise my kids the best I can

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Stressed out

Talk about stressed out. I have finals this week. And reports due. And financially things are rough here. And also, I had a thought yesterday that if my husband were ever deported the best job security for me in Cambodia would be regional manager at UPS. So that got me rethinking my career plans at UPS. I was thinking maybe I should stick around and work my way up - just for the future job security (plus the ability to help Cambodia bring their commerce to the next level). A full time job in the corporate world for the rest of my life goes against everything I believe in, in regards to being there for your kids and having your priorities straight. But if I have to, maybe I have to. So that was heavy on my mind when I went to this training class I am in at UPS. The conversation got around to the career opportunities there. Everyone was enthusiastically discussing how much money you can make if you work there your whole life and how you can retire and how you can move up in the company... bla bla bla. But all I could think about is that I'm trapped. I've sold out. I'm doing what I never ever ever wanted to do. And the tears started welling up and next thing I know, I'm sobbing right there in this training class. Freaked everyone out a little bit. They got me tissues and everyone stared at me and asked "Are you all right" and I said between sobs "I don't want to work here the rest of my life" which was kind of funny and everyone laughed and I sucked it up and stopped crying. But later I went to my boss to tell him what happened before he heard it from someone else. He's a really understanding man. He is very supportive.

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