Trying to raise my kids the best I can

Monday, February 06, 2006

A fight

Last night my husband and I got into a fight about me oversleeping one day recently. It blew up because it hit a sensitive spot for me. It is so difficult to balance my family duties with part time work and nearly full time school. Plus, I am now a supervisor at work and I'm trying to squeeze gym into my schedule too. It would be so much easier to just try to concentrate on my wife and mother role. (I won't delve into why I decided to go back to work here - it is on previous posts). So I got really defensive and upset. I told him that if he wanted perfection at home then I would stay home, but he had to make up his mind. I suppose there were two other small factors that fanned the flames last night. First of all my thyroid dose was a little off yesterday. I could tell it was making me jittery and agitated so I'm going to lower the dose. Secondly, my sister in law took a pregnancy test at our superbowl party and it was positive! I was so happy for her, screaming and jumping up and down. But of couse that put baby thoughts in our head even more (Also we were passing around a small baby during the party). So as the thoughts of having a new baby is tempting, but incompatable with my current situation. Ugh. Life is not easy. Its full of choices. Even when you aren't aware of the choices you're making - you exclude things by the things you do choose to do. Does that make sense? I think there's a more poetic way of saying it but I don't have time to ponder it now.

2 Comments:

  • At 6:19 PM, Blogger Ben Meyer said…

    Always try to make choices that give you more choices.

     
  • At 9:24 AM, Anonymous Rebecca said…

    I see what you're saying, Deena. For instance, because I live in Montana, I can't live in Hawaii. So without even knowing it I have "chosen" not to live in Hawaii. Also, because I work in banking I have "chosen" not to be an astronaut.

     

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