Trying to raise my kids the best I can

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Extreme views on IVF

I'd like to share my extreme views on In Vitro Fertilization. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings though so I need to preempt this by saying that although I disagree with it, it must be devastating to struggle with infertility and it is a decision that needs to be made between you, your spouse and God.

My point of view is actually quite simple. Since I am pro-life, I am against all murder of unborn babies. IVF success rates are not 100% or even close to that. Several embryos (read: humans) are implanted in the mothers womb and often several of them die. Sometimes it takes several attempts on top of that. To me that is an unacceptable amount of deaths to occur. Not to mention the leftover frozen embryos left in limbo for years/decades after.

Theoreticly those lives would continue in heaven and they wouldn't have existed otherwise, but obviously if that were an argument for IVF then abortion would be OK too. I don't think there is anyone who would argue that.

Then there is the sticky question of the snowflake program which adopts out frozen embryos that would otherwise stay in limbo. Obviously a shot at a life is better then being destroyed. So theoretically that would be OK. The ethics of modern medicine can sure be confusing!

I don't know why I have never heard this arguement against IVF. Perhaps because it is a sensitive subject. Perhaps because the goal of raising a child is so worthy. But the ends do not justify the means.

Finally, I'd like to finish this blog with the story of my own period of waiting. I can sympathize with infertile couples, with the hope that builds each month and the excruciating disappointment each month as you get your period. I also had to wait like that for four years when my husband was in jail. He spent the entire time awaiting a sentence and it wasn't until the day of his release that he was able to plea out and actually get sentenced. For the first three years of that time we clung to the hope that he would be able to see a judge and go home. We had court date after court date come and go with nothing more then postponements. Meanwhile I was struggling as a single mother with one and then two babies, trying to survive, desperately needing him. The lowest point was about three years into it. We had a court date scheduled that I looked forward to for months, thinking that something has to happen this time because it has been so long. Surely, they can't hold him forever. I remember leaving work early, getting dressed up in my suit, driving to the court alone, the knots in my stomach that I got whenever I walked in that courthouse. I remember sitting through all the afternoon court procedings, waiting, waiting... until finally every last person was araigned and the courtroom was dismissed, but my husband was not there. I walked up to the court room guard and asked him what happened to my husband. He said that he was never brought in. He said that the case was postponed and that is all he knew. I walked to my car and put my head on the steering wheel and bawled. I had waited for months for this day and once again I was left bitterly disappointed.

The happy ending is that my family was reunited in the end. And for those who struggle with infertility I pray that your family will also someday be complete.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick; but when dreams come true at last there is life and joy." Proverbs 13:12

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  • At 8:32 AM, Blogger Ben Meyer said…

    If you are with your son at a clinic and a fire starts. Do you grab the container with 10,000 eggs from donors and run out the building or your son?

  • At 7:50 PM, Blogger Deena said…

    For all you readers who don't know, Ben is my dear little brother. Hmm. You raise a very good question Ben. Of course I would say my son. So am I saying that his life is more valuble then 10,000 fertilized embryo's? Hmm. I guess to me, yes. To God, No.


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